Love has no fear
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18 KJV
This verse in 1 John helped start the road to my new life. I never would have imagined when I first found this verse the impact it would have on my life.
In January of 2003 I was sitting at the kitchen table of my cousin in North Carolina. I had a bible in front of me, I was searching. Searching for help. Searching for anything that would help me sleep that night.
I was going through some very terrible things at that time. My husband, and father of four of my wonderful children, had just gone to prison a few months prior for assaulting me in front of our children.
The relationship with my husband had always been one that involved many forms of "abuse", but that night was different. He was different. He was crazed, and out of control. Everything was out of comtrol.
That night changed me, and it wasn't good. I was in a tailspin. Life was spinning out of control. I had my first of two severe mental breakdowns in my life.
My husband used to tell me that I was a "wiff" because I wasn't good enough to be an actual "wife." Even though they were only words, they hurt. They cut straight into my soul and helped develop my extremely deprived self-image.
It has been ten years since we were together, and I had to endure the abuse, the scars are still mending. Those words are still there.
In the months after the attack I tried to keep it together. Tried to be a mom, friend, sister. All the things I was supposed to do. I just couldnt do it no matter how hard I tried. I just kept slipping farther into the depression.
I was searching that night at the table in North Carolina for an argument to something my husband had said to me. He told me that God would never be okay with me getting a divorce. That we took vows under God, that can never be broken. So I was searching honestly for that line in the bible where it would miraculously say, Kimberly, you may leave your husband, you have my blessing! Love God.
Of course I couldn't find it. I found 1 John 4:18. Which I believe says about the same thing.
Love has no fear - My relationship was solely based upon fear
Fear involves torment - Need I say more?
Those that fear are not made perfect in love - This is the big one!
God loved me enough that he sent his only son to die on a cross for me. (John 3:16) Why would he go to all that trouble for me if he wanted me to live my life in fear. He wouldn't!
If he expexts me to treat my body as a temple like he says in
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body,"
He says here, as I take it, is that my body is a gift god gave to me. He created me. I am not my own means He bought and paid for my devotion to him when his son shed his blood on the cross for me. I am to honor my body for him who lives in me.
Is it possible to honor the glory of God by allowing a man beat and tear down his temple piece by piece? No!
I am a predestined daughter of the one true king! I have the holy spirit in me and he is there to build me up. Build me up to the person that will walk in the footsteps of righteousness.
How truly amazing is the grace of our God!
1 John 4:18 KJV
This verse in 1 John helped start the road to my new life. I never would have imagined when I first found this verse the impact it would have on my life.
In January of 2003 I was sitting at the kitchen table of my cousin in North Carolina. I had a bible in front of me, I was searching. Searching for help. Searching for anything that would help me sleep that night.
I was going through some very terrible things at that time. My husband, and father of four of my wonderful children, had just gone to prison a few months prior for assaulting me in front of our children.
The relationship with my husband had always been one that involved many forms of "abuse", but that night was different. He was different. He was crazed, and out of control. Everything was out of comtrol.
That night changed me, and it wasn't good. I was in a tailspin. Life was spinning out of control. I had my first of two severe mental breakdowns in my life.
My husband used to tell me that I was a "wiff" because I wasn't good enough to be an actual "wife." Even though they were only words, they hurt. They cut straight into my soul and helped develop my extremely deprived self-image.
It has been ten years since we were together, and I had to endure the abuse, the scars are still mending. Those words are still there.
In the months after the attack I tried to keep it together. Tried to be a mom, friend, sister. All the things I was supposed to do. I just couldnt do it no matter how hard I tried. I just kept slipping farther into the depression.
I was searching that night at the table in North Carolina for an argument to something my husband had said to me. He told me that God would never be okay with me getting a divorce. That we took vows under God, that can never be broken. So I was searching honestly for that line in the bible where it would miraculously say, Kimberly, you may leave your husband, you have my blessing! Love God.
Of course I couldn't find it. I found 1 John 4:18. Which I believe says about the same thing.
Love has no fear - My relationship was solely based upon fear
Fear involves torment - Need I say more?
Those that fear are not made perfect in love - This is the big one!
God loved me enough that he sent his only son to die on a cross for me. (John 3:16) Why would he go to all that trouble for me if he wanted me to live my life in fear. He wouldn't!
If he expexts me to treat my body as a temple like he says in
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body,"
He says here, as I take it, is that my body is a gift god gave to me. He created me. I am not my own means He bought and paid for my devotion to him when his son shed his blood on the cross for me. I am to honor my body for him who lives in me.
Is it possible to honor the glory of God by allowing a man beat and tear down his temple piece by piece? No!
I am a predestined daughter of the one true king! I have the holy spirit in me and he is there to build me up. Build me up to the person that will walk in the footsteps of righteousness.
How truly amazing is the grace of our God!
That was healing that I just read. You breaking the bondage of a very deep scar or stronghold. Strongholds are fleshly thought patterns that were programmed into your mind when you learned to live your life independently of God. Sis we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. We can choose to change our minds by not believing the lie but choosing to believe the truth! This is what God is showing you the Holy Spirit is leading you sis what a beautiful sight to see!
ReplyDelete(1 Jhon 8:32) YOU SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH SHALL MAKE YOU FREE
ReplyDeleteGod took control of me that night in North Carolina. It is a truly indescribable feeling when one lets God have all the power and comtrol over one's life. The true sense of peace that comes is priceless. I have stunbled along the road since that night. Letting the world entice me away from the God that had truly set me free. The truly wonderful part is that each and every time I failed the Lord I would find myself bankrupt. Back into the black void that grows in my soul without my Father to guide me. That is where he always finds me and lovingly calls me back to him. He is never angry, just embraces me with open arms forgiving me once again. Aren' t we ever so forunate to have a Father thet loves us so unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteAll glory to God for the changes you see in me. It is him doing his perfect work in and thtough me.
Peace and Love Sis